How to Help: The Humanitarian Way

I just recently found out about this organization. I have been in love with TOMS shoes for a few years because when you buy something, someone else also gets something. I love that idea! Most average people are not just willing to give a GOOD donation to an organization, so why not sell things and give part of the profits away?
I agree that there are other ways to do this, and yes many ideas are out there. BUT I love this kind of idea. It is my opinion.
There is another organization that gives BOOKS. You buy a book and a book goes to a child to learn!

WHAT A GREAT CONCEPT! 

I totally wish I would have thought of it first, but I didn't. Alas, I will have to come up with an all new idea myself! But this one is sweet and I wish to share it.

This is the link E3 Imagine

I work with kids and even here in the states some don't have ANY books. They are behind on their education when they start going to school and then have to catch up to every one else. Part of the problem is the parents. They are just too LAZY to teach their children anything. But what if we at least gave families the OPPORTUNITY to teach. Especially in countries where they cannot afford books, they would be so grateful.

Go on their website and just check it out.

Beginning of a novel - by me

It was a long time ago when my desire to write a book was on the top of my list of things to do. I had a lot of ideas and decided to form a couple of them into actual stories.
This was a book that I started probably 8 years ago or so. I don't completely remember everything that it was going to entail, but here is the beginning of it.
Should I go on to revise it and keep the idea? I'm just not sure of what to do with it.

This is how it starts...

April, 15 2007

To myself –

I can hear her sometimes. At least it seems as if I can. She is always in my thoughts. Is it crazy that she feels so very real after these years of being alone? I hope I’m not going insane. Please tell me I am not going insane…

Kyle came over the other day. He offered to help me get my bike working. It was a nice gesture I suppose, but after the wreck, maybe I don’t want it to work again. It would be nice to feel the speed again, but it scares me.

I still feel lost. Will this feeling ever go away?

                                                -me

            I starred at this page for a few moments after she abruptly got up and left. I wish I could have reached out to comfort her. Her journal entries always seemed to be the same. They were short, vague and a little distressing. I wish this was not the only way I could find out how she was feeling. Even if she would just talk to someone it would help. She was never one for expressing herself emotionally. I know she would have been mad at me before for reading her journal, but I figure she would feel differently now, or at least I hope she would.

            A few times when I thought she was not acting herself, I read her journal. One time I looked in it to see if she would have written anything down about the change in behavior. She always thought my reasoning for getting her to write in her journal was so I could read it. I felt bad that I had led her to believe this. I did not know how to explain to her the real meaning. I had not written in a journal growing up. After realizing how much I wanted her to understand what I was feeling, I started writing in one. I wish she could have known the feelings I had at certain ages when she was going through the same things. Coming from me, being older and taken for granted, it just was not the same to her as it could have been. She would get so angry with me for looking and reading her entries. I understood it was wrong, but at the same time I really wanted to know her feelings. I always thought I did something wrong when rearing her. I thought it was my fault she did not open up to me. I compared others relationships to our own. I had to realize she was not other children, she is her own person. This just happened to be how she was. So, I stopped blaming myself and started prying into her life. She did not talk much, but she would write in her journal extensively.

            One afternoon when she walked in on me looking at her journal, we got into a heated argument. I knew I was in the wrong, but I felt I had an obligation to make sure she was ok. After about an hour going back and forth on who was right and who was wrong, we made an agreement. She would try and be more open and talk with me about her problems, and I would steer clear from her journal. I knew she would not tell me everything, but at least it was a start.

            It is my duty to protect her. I’m still trying to figure out how to do that. It is not easy when there is no communication. At times I feel I am walking around aimlessly in a world that I know nothing of. It is good to know sometimes she can feel that I am here with her. The most I can hope for is that I am influencing her more than I am aware of.

            I am glad I put forth the effort of teaching her to write in her journal. I remembered how much she hated me for it. She thought it was a waste of time. I think I got her started on it when she was about eight. Children usually do not have much to write about, but they always find something. It may not even be of significance, but it is to them. I remember this one entry from the top of my head. I can quote it as if I read it daily. She wrote this only a little while after she began her writing.

            Toseday, April 14 1994

Last night I saw a gost a green one and to wite ones. And I also saw a tranchla and it had 1,000 eys. I was so scerd. I couldet move they were coming closer. I had to do something so I wigeld my toes. And then I could move the rest of my body so I trnd on the light and they were stel ther. And I herd two hamers pawnding and the frigrater slam four times and foot stepes. Think that wus my dad.

She never told me about the crazy incidents at night. I am sure most of them were her imagination, but they must have terrified her. I know she had a lot of them because ever since I can remember she was afraid of being alone in the dark. Sometimes, she was just plain afraid of the dark. Those are the kinds of things I wish she could have read about me when I was that age. Maybe it could have helped her not be so scared. If she could see other children had fears too. I cannot be sure it would have helped, but I like to think it could have. I am glad she started writing when she did. Where would I be if I had not taught her? I would know nothing of what she thinks now. It would make my task be ten times harder than I already feel it is.

            It has been over two years since I have been able to talk to her. She has a quiet soft voice. People say it reminds them of me. She used to be really outgoing. She would go out with her friends all the time. Reece, her stepfather, usually works a lot of hours. I am glad he is taking good care of her, but I wish they would have known each other better. Her long brown hair is something I have always treasured. I never wanted her to cut it short and she never did. I think she has grown to love it too though. She is average height I think, at least compared to her friends. I am not sure where she got her eye lashes, but they make her eyes look stunning. She is very motivated when she wants something, but stubborn when you tell her what to do. I can see so much of her in me now.

I used to be afraid of having children. I was apprehensive to the idea that they would become like me. I was not a bad person; I just thought other people were so much better. I did not want to fail. I would try to think of ways that I could be a better person so my faults would be hidden. Most of my trying happened while I was pregnant. It was good though. It helped me to see a lot of faults I had. I fixed a lot of them, but every time I changed one, I would see another. 

After a small amount of time I used stressing over this, I realized it was not going to work. No matter how hard I tried, I was always going to have imperfections. Then my view of children changed. A few years after she was born I noticed that it did not matter what I did. After she was old enough, she would point out the flaws sometimes. She had her own personality. All I could do was teach her and be a good example. There are some things I wish I would have done better, but I think she turned out great. I do miss her all the time. Even when she is in the room or I can feel that she knows I am there. I miss being able to be her mother.  

Lost in Austen

I have been a huge Jane Austen fan for a long time now. I love the way she writes and I love the society she describes so well. The mannerisms and the subtle humor are the best. So, with loving her stories so much, I decided that I would watch "Lost in Austen" on Netflix today. It was very different than what I imagined.

The girl in the movie loves "Pride and Prejudice" so much it's almost scary. In a very unrealistic and abrupt sort of way, she finds herself in that time living the story in place of Elizabeth. However, she is tries to make everything work out the way it should, the way it happens in the book. But adding another character who tries to force people to think and say certain things is never going to work. Plus, she (the girl lost in the book) wears makeup the entire time! Noticeable make up that we wear today - no one else does. Why would she not want to fit in? Very unrealistic.

Needless to say, I didn't like it. It is quite funny if you know the story well, but other than that.. it's just strange. I found myself liking Wickham the best. Who does that? It made a mess of the story. Also, I ended up liking the mother. There is NOTHING to like about the mother. And the father wasn't as cool as he is supposed to be. They just ruined the characters.


Wickham - best loved character. Who would have thought? --->

The BETTER Cake Mix Cookie

I know cake mix cookies are good, but I wanted to make a better one. I tried a recipe a while ago that included peanut butter, but it was just WAY too much.

Today I decided to look again online. I found just the normal, but then I started looking at the comments that people made about the recipes. It appears that others are daring and add things in that I would never. But I found a simple lovely combination that made cake mix cookies a little bit better.

They are gooey and yummy. Very rich though

Here is the recipe:
1 pkg chocolate fudge cake mix
1/2 cup butter - softened
2 eggs
1 T oil
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup chocolate chips (but I used peanut butter chips)
 - And of course oven on 350 and cook for 8-10 min.

PSR - Chilren are unaware

I was getting very frustrated with a girl that I work with. She was complaining about EVERYTHING and didn't want to do anything that I suggested we do, but kept asking "what are we going to do?" We were in her home and I said, okay let's go. She asked where we were going and I told her it didn't matter and that we needed to do something that would be good for her. She got a little upset at that, but proceeded to get her shoes and coat. (I was taking her to a store so she could practice some skills in listening.)
After we were in my car she offered many ideas of where we should go - all of them being parks and places where she could play. She never would consent to doing anything where it involved her to have to follow rules.
We were half way there and she was being a brat, like always. And I never do this, but I asked her, "Do you know why you need a PSR worker?" She simply ignored me so I asked her again. She replied, "no." I asked her if she wanted to know why. Again, she did not say anything so I repeated the question. She finally responded with "sure" and I told her, "It is so that you can learn to be nice to other people." Her response was, "maybe we can go to the library?"

Shakespeare In Love

I bought the edited version off this website that was going out of business last year. I have never watched it, but was so intrigued by the title. I ended up watching it over the weekend.
This story is supposedly a take on how the play "Romeo and Juliet" was written. The movie was good, don't get me wrong, but I do not agree at all.
Someone as intelligent as Shakespeare would have never been so stupid as to think Romeo and Juliet is a classic love story. I believe he wrote everything with a deeper meaning behind it. His lines are carefully chosen and there is always a moral at the end. What he really meant is... two stupid young teenagers who think they can fall in love that fast (after meeting once) and end up killing themselves is just to show the world that we need to be careful with the emotions that we have. Infatuation is a very dangerous thing. I think he was making fun of young people who take life WAY too seriously for their age. This is what I think. I believe Shakespeare would agree. 

PSR - Conversation that made me go... huh??

I was taking a girl home today (from what I thought was pretty good day with her). There was hardly any defiance or brattiness on her part. On the ride home she just said the weirdest thing, and I never questioned it because I did not want to start something that could be her trying to disagree with everything I say. This is how it went (very short),
Girl - Why are there so many flags everywhere?
Me - It's a holiday
Girl - No
Me- Yeah, it's Veterans Day today
Girl - No it's not
Me - Yup, it's a holiday
Girl - 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
That is all...What the crap?

Salsa Chicken

I decided to try a new recipe today. It was off of allrecipes.com. I wanted to be semi healthy so chicken is the best bet! Cooking chicken, however, is not my strong point. I use a George Foreman grill and just add some stuff and make sure I eat it with BBQ sauce so that it will taste good.
This recipe doesn't need BBQ sauce.. although I love it and miss it all same.

The recipe calls for taco seasoning - which I didn't have so I made my own!
Who knew I could do that? Okay.. to cooks they are probably like.. uh yeah that's super simple.. just mix some spices together, but me.. I didn't even know you could make your own!
But nevertheless.. it turned out pretty good! A little spicy, but it's just because I used spicy stuff.

Here it is!

Added a little bit of sour cream to lighten the spice and because I love sour cream.. the light kind of course!

A day in the life of a PSR worker

I took a girl who is 8 years old to the store today. I wanted to see how well she could behave. I told her that...so you think she would at least try? No.. VERY wrong. She would not listen to a word I said and I needed to go to the bathroom super bad. I told her I needed to go and that we would come back and look at the Halloween stuff after and she said okay. On the way to the bathroom, she stopped at everything she saw and it took my like 5 minutes to get her to come with me.
After the bathroom - where she needed to blow bubbles in her hands for a few minutes while ignoring me, she stopped by every toy she saw (which is not part of the rules). I basically had to force her to come with me. This does not look good to a person just standing by. I had the weirdest looks like I was kidnapping her or something. I told her that we can't look at the toys unless she can listen and do what I ask her to do. She got super mad. We went out of the store and she called me a 'b-word' in which she actually said 'b-word' instead of the actual word. Progress right?
And her way of getting back at me was insulting everything I had. She told me she thought my car was ugly and that it needed to be cleaned because it smells.. on and on. I know my car doesn't smell - so no offense was taken. ;)
Where do kids learn these things?

Meatloaf

I took a break from my blog  because.. well the only reason I made it was to win something and you needed a blog to win.. however - I did not win anything and I saw no other point to keep a blog.
I am married now.. and doing things that I never dreamed of like.. making meatloaf. I never even liked the stuff growing up. Why in the world would I decide to make it? I have no answer.
We were given a crock pot for a wedding gift and I've been trying new recipe's. I never knew I could cook! It's amazing the things that can happen with a life altering event.
I made meatloaf tonight. I think it tastes good? Honestly... I'm not sure I know how it's supposed to taste. It's been so long since I've had it. My husband has yet to come home and try it, but we will see. So, I'll will get back to you with his opinion on it.
Side note - I AM NOT A COOK! I do not do these things.

There ya have it. Meatloaf in a crock pot. :)

Trees

There is something about trees that captivate me. When I was in England I even wrote a poem of how a tree inspired me. It may not make sense to most people. I am really not sure. It is kind of long and I personally HATE long poetry. But it explains something about myself that I did not ever really understand until I wrote it. If you can understand it... congrats to you. haha. I also love taking pictures of trees. Why am I so obsessed? 

Here is the poem... And pictures are to follow...

 

The sheep find their home

Among the cold dense rocks.

Vibrant green fields they feed on.

Trees surround the boarders of their land.

Off in the distance, a distracting jagged branch

Poking its limb out behind the rolling hill.

A moss covered, disfigured beauty

Like a scraggly villain in a story.

Each branch different, yet the same.

Reaching out in uniform,

Individually taking different routes.

A silhouette of death on a misty green morning.

Twisted life thriving among the lush and beautiful

Outliving the disintegration of others.

Every spring repeating the motion to bloom -

A tedious yet needful task

A life haunted by how the world views beauty.

It's reflection of my own thoughts draw me in closer

Whispering to me of how I could have been.

It tells me to stay and listen to its silence.

I create a battle within myself and back away.

I will not stay, but view the majestic tree with awe.

A celebrity I do and do not want to become.

 Now, when you look at these trees I want you to notice more than just a picture of a tree, but their lines and branches. They reach up to the sky and are so majestic. They each have their own personality. 

These trees are in the redwoods. Completely captivating.

The last few trees are in England, Ireland or France. Some I've never seen before in the states. Their branches are my favorite on some of them. I know this might not be as awesome to anyone else, but their twistedness and knotty characteristics made me want to take a picture of each one I saw. 

This is the tree that Robin Hood supposedly hid in. They keep it up with a support system because it is so large and heavy.

 

They make everything else look prettier and more interesting...

My Legs

Most people know that I hate shaving my legs. I have gone about 5 months before without shaving them. It is not too bad because they grow really slow and are very light. The hair also doesn't grow in very thick. Most people can't even tell I haven't shaved my legs unless they look close- even after a month! I found this on the internet and thought of myself. haha! 

This is amazing! I believe the only reason to shave your legs is how you think about yourself. Sure there are reasons to do it for respectful purposes and to look presentable, but does it matter who cares if you don't? 

I guess it is up to each person and I do shave about once a month because that is about the time when I start noticing that other people are noticing and I feel uncomfortable, but before then I don't really care that much. 

Positive vs Negative...Serenity vs Misery...You vs Yourself?

Have you ever looked at successful happy people and wondered how they got there? Or seen someone who came from a similar background, but they are in a horrible place in life? I think it all has to do with how we think and what we let our brain tell us. I'm sure this idea is in many books that I just haven't read, but there are some specific things to have our minds focus on that will help us to be more successful and happy.

People who succeed People who fail take responsibility blame others make commitment and keep them no matter what make promises that they always break think about how they can achieve give excuses constantly expand their comfort zone stay in their comfort zone are humble are egoistic give their best for the things that they decide to do work half heartedly in everything that they do manage their time well and indulge in high value activities that will bring them closer to their goals lack time management skills and indulge in time wasting activities like playing games and watching re runs for the umpteen time listen fight for every chance to talk think and lead refuse to think so they follow help others to win refuse to help and think only about their own benefit think about possibilities focus on obstacles that will stop them from achieving take failure in their stride and learn from them fear failure and avoid them at all cost find opportunities in crisis complain about crisis

Tangled

I saw the movie Tangled and thought it was a good show. It was funny, witty, entertaining and had a great meaning. It is everything I believe a classic Disney movie should have. I was browsing the web not too long ago when I came across this picture. These light things are real! I thought it was some made up idea from a writer to the fairytale. WRONG! This is amazing.

They are actually called sky lanterns. It seems this is mostly an Asian thing. They say it was first used as a type of signaling balloon in China for war purposes. They are now used mostly for celebrations and festivals.

Food Cravings

I found this website of what foods can take the place of a bad food craving. It says that when you crave something in particular you are really needing something else like a vitamin or mineral. It lists other healthy sources of foods to feed your cravings in a healthier way. It makes complete sense to me. I crave chocolate ALL the time. I wish I didn't, so if there are other things that would satisfy that craving... bring it on! I want to try it out. If anyone else tries this out, comment and let me know if cured your craving!

                     Food Cravings

Here is the link for it ^

Traveling and Unique Hotels

This is a website I found about different kinds of hotels they have around the world. Take a look. It is kind of amazing and weird at what people can come up with sometimes. I personally would love to stay in the one in Fiji, but a guy left a comment that it costs $15,000 for 2 people. Check it out!

Hotel Link

I love lamp

There was an exhibit in Idaho Falls that I had an opportunity to go to in order to receive extra credit in one of my classes. My boyfriend was so kind to take me, but then we did not know what else to do. We figured we were already in Idaho Falls so maybe we should see a movie. He had some coupons for cheaper tickets and free popcorn (he has awesome coupon skills) and then had nothing else to do. If you live in Rexburg and are in IF, you must eat somewhere. There are so many choices compared to the small town of Rexburg, so we wanted to eat somewhere, we just weren't hungry yet. Finding something to do... CD World?

The best random store ever! He had this burning desire to go into this store. I wasn't too excited about it, but it was so weird and entertaining. It had the most random things... Elvis memorabilia, a pyramid statue, rock lamp things, and I'm serious - just the weirdest stuff. I ended up getting a couple postcards. haha

We went into Sportsman's Warehouse. I love that store. We just looked at tents and things, but then we went to this furniture place, but it was like 3 stores combined. I loved this lamp! 

I believe this couch was made for me...

And I'm pretty sure we tried out almost every mattress, but I don't have a picture of that. 

Anyway... the moral of this post is to say that you can have fun anywhere. It was seriously a great day! We finished it off at the Olive Garden. YUM!

Mustache

I was just remembering a few years ago when I lived in Arizona. Every May 5th we would have a Cinco de Mustache party. The guys would grow mustaches for it. However, there was a problem because their mustaches were too light to even see. I thought it was funny. We wanted it to be more authentic so I pulled out my mascara that I had in my purse and I started coloring in the guys facial hair that was too light to see. It worked out awesome! You couldn't even tell that it is fake. Here is a picture of me and my friend Dallin at the party. P.S. He is always making a weird face. :)

Eating Healthy Tip

As you may know, I am really into health. I did my internship with a dietitian and learned a lot! One of the most useful things I think I learned was how carbs and insulin work in the body to either store or burn fat. I will not bore you with the details. However, I will say that if you want to increase your metabolism and feel healthier- also look healthier, but I think the feeling part is most important, then it is important to eat your carbs more in the morning time and taper them off in the evening. Carbs are for energy and you do not need energy before you go to bed, so they sit and turn into fat when not being used. This can be hard to do, but it is awesome once you get the hang of it. 

Book Making?

I am not usually a crafty person, but I saw this notebook in a small shop in Dublin, Ireland. I did not want to buy it so I took a picture instead hoping to remember and recreate it someday. The picture only shows the cover, but there is paper inside and it is held together with screws. Genius idea...

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